Past Tense

For some people, acrophobia or fear of heights is a significant stress trigger. While my wife is blissfully relaxed in cable cars and driving on high mountains, I become a quivering mess. My first awareness of this was driving up to a British hill station in north-eastern India. The 6000 feet climb caused me huge stress and I had to figure how high and I could relieve the stress

Different experiences trigger different levels of stress for people. Some people get a rush out of extreme sports while others are terrified at the thought of doing such dangerous things. For me, it is heights like to think of a way of reducing the stress. My best stress relief strategy is to make sure that I don’t engage in these experiences.

What makes you stressed and worried? Spiders, snakes, people, tests, and public speaking are very common stressors. Look at what I’m going to say and work out which ones are problems for you.

There are many workplace triggers that induce stress for people. These include poor role description, inadequate working environment, boring work, being asked to do things that don’t fit your skill set, inadequate or insufficient training, and poor bosses. Sometimes the work culture that creates stress, racism, sexual harassment, discriminatory treatment and so. There are many potential triggers in the workplace and the job for you is to find the best stress relief mechanisms.

People have their own list of personal fears. Having grown up on a farm, I’m not particularly scared of snakes but many of my friends are terrified. A dinner party where you are meant to look good and sound smart can be quite stressful. Some people worry about their body shape because they are too fat.

There are of course, stressors that are family based. Worries about your children’s education and development and/or their behaviour, relationship problems, financial difficulties. Drugs are always a worry for parents and for the victims themselves. Feeling dependent is a stressor. Triggers can be unwelcome news, problems with fidelity, fears about the future. There are plenty of triggers out there.

What we have to do is to work out how to deal with these stressors in order to reduce or relive the stress and tension. I propose a model I call BE CALM. The acronym has two purposes: to remind you to be calm in the face of a stressful event or a difficult and person; and the six letters represent logical strategies for dealing with complex situations. The model is B for Build, E for Examine, C for confront, A for Accept, L for Let go (forgive, forget) and M for Move on with your life. I don’t have space to explain this model but when one works through this carefully over any stressful event, a plan of action can be mapped out that will mean that we can manage and relieve stress effectively.