Past Tense

Most people approach retirement with a gloomy face. They approach retirement as if it is giving into the hands of fate and the debilitation of the body. Therefore, it is important to help the retiree realize that retirement is something to be welcomed since it is an inevitable stage in ones life. But how can one do that? Its simple: poke fun at retirement. Retirement jokes, like the ones made in speeches are popular. However, speeches tend to become emotional to the point that everyone in the room is in a state of gloom and sympathy. But one can raise the bar with retirement jokes (without insulting the retiree, of course).

Examples: In addition to talking about the wonderful times the speaker has shared with the retiree, he/she can add something that will lighten up the mood. One could give a headstone slab, which has the inscription For Future Use on it. If you’re a friend, you may also make a joke by calling the retiree granddad or grandfather whenever the retiree speaks to you, as in “OK, grandfather”. This may also help lighten the mood. But dont go over the top, of course.

Another joke that might help is a wig in strong colour like pink, green or purple. A follow up item to that joke might be that he might need a wig in the very near future. If he refuses it, say: Okay, then wear a paper bag instead when you do go bald. Always be prepared for when a joke doesnt succeed. So keep those backup jokes ready! Believe it or not, some agencies write and sell personalized retirement speeches with witty jokes written in after knowing the personality and interests of the retiree. These companies usually add jokes about the retirees profession. If you can’t find enough retirement jokes, a visit to a bookshop could help a lot.

There are joke books that cover a vast range of topics, only one of which is retirement. A little search on this or that will help inspire the reader if he/she isnt a natural comedian. These can also be great retirement gifts too, helping the retiree have a good laugh on one of those boring Monday afternoons. There are also a lot of websites on the net that provide a lot of jokes and free retirement e-books. The e-books that are available range from the 100 Best Things Said about Retirement to Retirement Wisdom You Wont Get from your Bank Manager.

Conclusion: One has a lot of leeway when one tells jokes at a retirement party. If you know someone who is coming near to retirement, you can first send an email or two which has retirement quotations like retirement is when everyday is Saturday and retirement: goodbye tension, hello pension!. It is a good gesture and gives the sense that you understand what the future retiree is going through.

Again, keep the retiree (future or not) at ease as much as you can. Make him/her think about retirement with a smile and not with a sigh as much as you can. And when the retirement party does come, adopt the same light-hearted approach, telling jokes here and there and doing some gags like the ones said above. Not only will the retiree be less wary about retirement, he/she will focus more on the people who kept him happy on that bitter-sweet day, especially the person that presented him with that strange pink wig.