Past Tense

A calm house is a happy house. Both parents are going to argue and have their differences, however they need to be adult enough to wait to discuss their issues once the kids have gone out or are in bed.

We are a very busy household where both parents work; I help people to stop stuttering by running speech courses which are one a one-to-one basis and my partner runs a company which offers bargain holiday deals as well as enabling people to learn how to become a foster parent.

I am also a parent and am by no means a perfect dad. I have told my children that all I expect of them is to try their best, as long as they do this, it does not matter what grades they achieve. Two years ago my step-daughter who is now twelve started to play up, especially at school. I was quite shocked when I attended her parents evening to find out that she had not handed in her homework, that she had made little effort in the past couple of terms and that she had been disruptive to other members of her class.

To say I was unhappy with her is an under-statement. I was spitting feathers but needed to control my anger – I therefore stated that I was in no mood to discuss the situation at this present moment but that I would talk to her later in the evening.  When we had arrived home, I stated to her that I was upset about what I had heard and informed her that if she had done well, I would have bought her anything that she wanted, up to a certain amount of money. She was quite shocked by that and stated, even the England football kit? I said that I would have but that she was not having it now. There was an add on to it though; something which I hoped would inspire her to start working hard – that was that she would be able to buy it in a few months time if she bucked her ideas up.

She has never looked back since, but my bank manager is not happy with the situation. We also have a weekly bribe. If both of my children behave during the week they can choose a toy of their choice on the Saturday, again within reason. If and it often happens they do not deserve the toy, I have no need to become angry as they just do not get the reward. As you will no doubt imagine this is something which makes them hugely frustrated however it is something that also teaches them a valueable lesson in life.

You may think that I am cheating but it works for us and we live in a very happy, chilled out house.