Past Tense

Every gay person will face the option of coming out to parents at some stage during their lives. This will always be an emotional journey you embark on, so come prepared.

There is no use having this very important talk with them if you are still unsure about your own sexual orientation. Do not blurt out a half-truth, but rather explain to them that have an attraction to people of the same sex and ask them for their support and advice; This way you get your parents on your side right from the early stages of coming out.

Should you be living a gay life for a while now and want to tell your parents, it is a subject that needs perfect timing to open up the conversation. Never choose any place or time to come out where your parents may feel embarrassed or trapped like at the neighbor’s house.

Support as in a lover or friend may not be a good idea, as this will cause your parents to react in a polite and untruthful manner. In many cases some parents immediately took aim at the lover and made him the party to blame for your decisions.

Expect a variety of reactions from them. You know them well; so do not think for one moment they do not know you just as well. They might just surprise you and acknowledge that they knew all along.

First concerns are usually about gay people and the negative connection between their lifestyle and HIV Aids these people suffer under. This is a perfect time to talk openly about safe sex and show your self as responsible in this matter.

Some churches still have major problems with gay people and should you find yourself in such a family you must stick to your convictions. No person, not even your own parents are allowed to judge your faith.

Don’t just talk, listen to them as well as they will want to spell out some rules they may think appropriate. The secret is not to force lovers or guests onto them, rather let the news settle in and wait until they invite another gay person over.

Be patient with yourself, your parents as well as the whole coming out process. Every one concerned will have a lot to think about and work through, so take care not force emotions and acceptance. Time will bring resolutions.